Coffee #23 – What the F**k am I doing?

“Never permit a dichotomy to rule your life, a dichotomy in which you hate what you do so you can have pleasure in your spare time. Look for a situation in which your work will give you as much happiness as your spare time.” ~ Pablo Picasso

Happiness –if I don’t feel it, I’m doing something wrong.

I can mark, very specifically, the moment that happiness began to drain away.

I can’t even draw anymore, all my creative outlets are practically dried up. I can’t seem to make music, or write stories, or even draw. The only thing left are words and poetry, anger and rage.

Not exactly a recipe for happiness.

Continue reading Coffee #23 – What the F**k am I doing?

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End of Year Scholastics

Stressed by tests, failed grades -Not impressed,
Dub me less than my peers, secret fears, public tears, no more cheers-
Stumble back, study track -what I lack- all the skews of the fact,
After all I am less, hollow guess, faulty chess, not my best,
And yet wasting the funds that I bet, ready set,
Now I get what I’ve earned, it’s my turn as I yearn for success,
Do my best, passed this hole in my chest; I don’t jest, I confess-
I’ll improve, heal the grove, act and move,
Polish jewels; hug the family, promises and gambling, now I’m rambling,
Just consequence of that fence looming high- its intense!
Forcing scholastic gymnastics…

This is me, stressed by tests.