Trophies

Every day there is a new addition
Another blank spot filled
Every day another addition
To the wall of trophies.

There is one of every race
One of every color
There is a category for every gender
Every age
Every rate.

Every day
So many trophies

And the angel looks at the trophies
And weeps.
With abject sorrow and pain
As the shelves only multiply
And continue to fill

A wall drips down
And the tears fall down
The shelves climb high to the sky
A torrent of tragedy.

Did you know that trophies
Are something that serial killers
Take to remind themselves
Of the moments.

Trophies.

So which killer is this?
With shelves to the sky
Filled with trophies of every color
Race,
Age,
Rate?

This killer is silence.

This killer is hate.

This killer is rape.

This killer is ignorance.

This killer Is Evil.

This killer lives among us
In our silence
And our ignorance
And disbelief.

And until the silence is broken
And love returns
And rape is abolished in word and deed
Until ignorance is washed in wisdom and creed
We will continue to be nothing
But trophies.

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Don’t Say A Word

The water rises, the levees go down
Houses disappear without a sound
A waving hand sinks beneath the waves–
Shhh… don’t say anything.

A bullied child runs home in tears
To a home where none will hear his fears
The rope swings in the rafters–
Shhh… don’t say anything.

An angry mob screams retribution and hate
Destroying another innocent’s fate
Blood stains the dusty streets–
Shhh… don’t say anything.

Vitriol and fury runs down the page
Fuck you!!! cries the internet sage
A nation drowns beneath the weight–
Shhh… don’t say anything.

A church shout their hallelujahs
A congregation filled with barracudas
Hypocrisy vibrant on every face–
Shh… don’t say anything.

A holy man steals a precious soul
A priest shatters what should be whole
Lust, greed, and envy run amuck–
Shh… don’t say anything.

Whip the populous into a froth
Direct the orchestra as the conductor taught
Distract perspective and reality–
Shh… don’t say anything.

Another bullet loads into a gun
Another world comes undone
A deluded last stand–
Shh… don’t tell anyone.

Easily amused, so easily confused
Dance along to this terrible ruse
As another thousand succumb to the sword–
Shh… don’t tell anyone.

And while most still cling to thoughts of a messiah
Still more seize justification for warfare and pariah
Another fool succumbs to manipulation–
Shh… don’t tell anyone.

Even children are polluted
Their innocence convoluted
Worse still, in wars they are recruited–
Shh… don’t tell anyone.

If a tree falls, no one will here it
Not unless it cuts out the Ethernet
Let’s get real, nobody cares–
Shh… don’t say anything.

Nothing more than eminent destruction
Apocalypse remains the final construction
Last one standing gains all the wealth–
Shh… don’t tell anyone.

Tick tock, time to expire
Just wait until it all catches fire
By the way, the earth was never not burning–
Shh… your words don’t mean a thing.
So don’t tell anyone.

Choking and Can’t Stop

Oh, the words!!

The words constantly floating in the back of my throat.
Don’t choke
Screams and shouts and anger and goats
Legit, goats, and men that stare at them

 

This has nothing to do with you. You are extra.

Fodder.

 

It feels like I’m drowning.
Bubbles for words
Swim past my lips
As you stare back at me
Through the glass walls
In my prison of silence.

 

Garroting the Echos.

“I just have… so many thoughts!” I said, turning to my unseen confidant.

My confidant and confessor (a she, I sensed) sat silently to my right draped in black veils and dark robes.

My hands smooth up my face and my thumbs slide to my temples as I lightly massage my head with my fingers, combating the tendrils of stress winding through my skull.

And there are so many thoughts… how can I possibly write them all down or track them for posterity.  

My silent companion didn’t move, in a stillness most artificial. I suddenly wondered, a tendril of thought, whether she was the harbinger.

And my dream spiraled away…

It’s those moments. Those small actions that harken back to memories of pain.

Continue reading Garroting the Echos.

Holding back for no fucking reason…

Words,
Bubble and swallow
Swishes and gargles, tickles my nose
Drains to my toes, wakes me at nights
Sneaks in my dreams, perversion it seems,
Why can’t I just
Say it.

Continue reading Holding back for no fucking reason…

Gods -Only the Silent Ones

Of course we’d want the silent gods.
Versus the Exodus and Genesis
When the thunder of voice
The strike of death, and the clear blade of reckoning
Descends.

Of course we’d want the silent gods
Rather than the kinder
Healing, forgiving and embracing
Weeping, weakening -tears of blood
Fall.

Continue reading Gods -Only the Silent Ones

Identity #8: F**king February

meditation-833864_1280

Dissociation leads to isolation
Isolation leads to hate
I hate the dull February
Where happy thoughts drown with sadistic glee
Into the depression of the gray

February 6, 2016

Attending a mixer at work, I found myself floundering for introduction.

“Hi, nice to meet you! My name is _____.”

“___? Nice to meet you I am ____.”

Continue reading Identity #8: F**king February

Coffee #10: Finding Inner Peace

Rather than the (un)usual format of vocalized conversation with you, I wrote a series of journal entries that better encapsulates my debrief. With all sorts of weather in the western and eastern hemispheres, I figured I'd respect your availability and write to you, rather than demand you come for a "physical" coffee meeting as per the normal. Feel free to grab some coffee before starting. :)

1 WEEK AGO:

Again, trying not to scream

Not a good time, or place.

I’ve always held back screams. My whole life is a jar of screams that I carry around with me, and cork every new scream into.

How else can I keep this smile?

If there is nothing else I control, it’s that I never scream. I keep that jar hidden inside my chest and never ever open it. I might self destruct if I did.
Continue reading Coffee #10: Finding Inner Peace