Coffee #17: Dreams and Crushes

“I’m infected with you. Pull the plug already. Tell me before I go, That you’re infected with me.”  ~Infected by Demon Hunter

No coffee in ages. No rest for the weary. I’m exhausted in mind, body, soul, heart, and spirit.

But triumphant. -Ish.

Pull up a chair, let’s talk about life. I can’t wait to share, so tell that barista to shake a tail feather!

Damn it, who put vodka in my hot chocolate? Barkeep-erista!!!

Continue reading Coffee #17: Dreams and Crushes

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Identity #4: If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?

Inspired by  All About Coming Out: The 5 Stages by XCELLUNA thank you for sharing your journey!! Also strongly inspired by my friend aunaqui who shows me what it’s like to be brave despite everything life throws at him in his blog Still Here

I struggle frequently to find the words to talk about myself. Whether it be a personal statement, or a “Who am I”, it’s a complicated answer, a rabbit warren of twists and turns, and blind alleys. I feel alien and weird all the time. I am a strange person and I’ve embraced that. I’ve embraced my fun brain, with its love of numbers, words, jokes, and random correlations. I’ve embraced my reconciliation with being a lone wolf, being the cliché in the windowpane looking in at friends and acquaintances having fun without me, that loneliness I’ve assuaged with my own company. I’ve embraced my own darkness, that there are corners  of my heart where I shine light and see nothing but ink and shadows. I’ve embraced my fear that I could easily become someone less compassionate, less human, and I’ve used that fear to tap down the voices of cruelty and remain on the straight and narrow. I’ve embraced the ice of words thrown with anger and malice, the deception, the lies. and have walked away a stronger person.

Continue reading Identity #4: If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?