Fantastical Subconscious

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[We] wandered the warrens of the underground building, a 3 story living abode that morphed into an amphitheater with multiple doors leading to outer rooms and passageways on its peripheral. The ceilings were impossibly high, with walls and ceiling the color of sand.

From a side passageway, a loud scream echoed and [we] looked to see a ginormous T-Rex burst into the amphitheater where we stood. Aside from its razor sharp claws and ferocious teeth, its entire skeletal body was rife with flame, as if it had clawed up from hell in the embodiment of some bastardization of a reptilian ghost rider.

Fear. Shock. DODGE!!

Continue reading Fantastical Subconscious


Fear Mongering

To succumb to fear
Is to fall victim to the oldest weapon
That brought every mighty empire to its knees.
Swords brought low
Strength crumbles away
Panic and chaos roam the streets.
Fright and flight on everyone’s lips
We succumb to cowardice.

Snap. Out. Of. It.

Life goes on.
Children are born.
Flowers bloom and die and bloom again.

Your mind would build prisons
Out of castles.
And destruction
From rebirth.
Change comes and goes.
Will you make a change
Or submerge -lost- to your fear?

Life is what you make it

Fear can be the cement block weighing your feet 1000 ft below the surface.
Hope can be the wings that lend lift to your soul 1000 ft above the clouds.
Despair can be the inky scent of swamp and graveyards.
Peace can be the clean-smelling air after the rainstorm.
Family can be a group of strangers with one accord.
Destruction can be a single word of pain and hurt.
Battles can be a single, spoken “No”.
Surrender can be silence in the face of adversity.

Success can be one step, taken every day.
Failure can be one stop along the way.
Birth can be a strangled inhale.
Death, a solemn exhale.

Life can be fear and hope delving into peace and despair wrapped round family and destruction with battles and surrender striving to make success out of failure and celebrate the birth despite the deaths.

Life can be one second, of every hour of every day.
Life can be a laugh, a smile, exhilaration, and play.

Life… is what you make it.

Identity #4: If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?

Inspired by  All About Coming Out: The 5 Stages by XCELLUNA thank you for sharing your journey!! Also strongly inspired by my friend aunaqui who shows me what it’s like to be brave despite everything life throws at him in his blog Still Here

I struggle frequently to find the words to talk about myself. Whether it be a personal statement, or a “Who am I”, it’s a complicated answer, a rabbit warren of twists and turns, and blind alleys. I feel alien and weird all the time. I am a strange person and I’ve embraced that. I’ve embraced my fun brain, with its love of numbers, words, jokes, and random correlations. I’ve embraced my reconciliation with being a lone wolf, being the cliché in the windowpane looking in at friends and acquaintances having fun without me, that loneliness I’ve assuaged with my own company. I’ve embraced my own darkness, that there are corners  of my heart where I shine light and see nothing but ink and shadows. I’ve embraced my fear that I could easily become someone less compassionate, less human, and I’ve used that fear to tap down the voices of cruelty and remain on the straight and narrow. I’ve embraced the ice of words thrown with anger and malice, the deception, the lies. and have walked away a stronger person.

Continue reading Identity #4: If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?