“Never permit a dichotomy to rule your life, a dichotomy in which you hate what you do so you can have pleasure in your spare time. Look for a situation in which your work will give you as much happiness as your spare time.” ~ Pablo Picasso
Happiness –if I don’t feel it, I’m doing something wrong.
I can mark, very specifically, the moment that happiness began to drain away.
I can’t even draw anymore, all my creative outlets are practically dried up. I can’t seem to make music, or write stories, or even draw. The only thing left are words and poetry, anger and rage.
Not exactly a recipe for happiness.
Continue reading Coffee #23 – What the F**k am I doing?
For so long, days and nights have just been marking time on a clock. Scratching marks on the wall, like a prisoner awaiting release despite the fact that the sentence is life.
Waking up to the sun, the moon, the stars -the half-hearted belief that I would awake when I closed my eyes and the half-empty doubt that I would not. Trying to scrape up the need to care about that -what if I die tonight? What if I don’t wake up? Does it even matter?
The sun was hot, beating down on the almost parched land. I slipped into the shadow of a tree, awaiting the signal. I wasn’t alone. We were all waiting.
Continue reading Coffee 21: I have not truly lived until now