Quirky Brain Retorts #98

Hey, I have a knock-knock joke.
Okay, how does it go?

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Her ass.

Her ass who?

That’s her-assment, I’m calling Title IX.

Advertisements

Snark unfiltered

Blessed are the poor, for they will be too busy (with survival) to focus on the larger picture.

Blessed is government aid, else what would we complain about?

Blessed are the rich, for they will ever complain about over-taxation.

Blessed are the government, for whom else would we pay for protection?

Blessed are the hospitals, for they will focus on resuscitating money rather than lives.

Blessed are insurance, for they expect your money when sun shines, and withhold it when it rains.

Blessed are the bigots, for they will continue to be stuck in their small mind frames within a larger world.

Blessed are politics, else what would we fight over when we haveth not religion?

Blessed are sports, that provideth beer, snacks, contention, and politics all in one.

Blessed are the idiots, for how else would the wolves run Wall Street?

Quirky Brain Retorts #2

“Give someone a fish, and they eat for a day. Teach them to fish, and they eat for a lifetime.”

Uh-huh. Well…

  • Give a banker a fish, and they’ll convince you they’re doing you a favor when they sell it back to you for a profit.

And…

  • If you’re smart, you’ll teach someone how to fish, then take a commission for every fish that person catches throughout their entire lifetime.