Prepping for Xmas
Decking all the halls,
Eternal Xmas songs;
Why can’t I escape,
This spending fiasco?
I just wanted a break,
And time to chill at home;
Instead the tortured Santa Claus
Done cracked the piggy bank. Oh!
Solo time, solo time, Xmas, winter break!
Peaceful quiet, holy night -yeah, whate’er! git off my lawn!
Skip Thanksgiving. Straight to Xmas.
Ghastly blinking lights, air filled dolls, looping peppermint, dead trees. Tis the season to slay the electric bill, the pine tree, the accumulated financials.
If I wanted to celebrate the holidays appropriately, I’d lit a fire and toss my money into the flames. Gonna waste it all anyway, may as well be warm with it…
I suppose I’m fortunate. My family doesn’t celebrate “pagan” holidays so I don’t need to peel off dollar bills like a reverse stripper to make them happy. The one time their extremes save me money…
Or, I can save up for the tax season! #MatureAdult
So, unlike much of the world, I’ll be glowering at the wrapped presents and the Santa Claus -who’s in danger of a heart attack if he even lifts one tiny package. The forced labor of little people is not amusing. The deforestation isn’t “fun”.
And don’t jab me in the eye with that striped peppermint contraption.
‘Bout the only good thing about this time of year is eggnog.
Not saying you shouldn’t enjoy your holiday. You do you.
But, for the love of all that is unholy, turn the damn carols off!!!