I was hoping that when I looked up what national day this was I’d get something like: national cherry cheesecake day, national lost-dog awareness day, national talk-like-Shakespeare day or national picnic day.
And to be far, these are other national events taking place today.
But it’s also National Take-a-Chance Day.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m always aware of lost dogs and pets in general. I always look carefully at the lost pet signs, so that if I maybe see the pet, I could potentially return it home. Unless the owner is unworthy of owning a pet, of course (like abuse or neglect or something of that nature).
I’m the weirdo that isn’t a fan of cheesecake. Don’t like it, don’t know why people eat it and won’t judge you for your strange indulgences. I do like cherries, and that’s what I’m looking forward to this summer. That and melons and berries. Yum!
I imagine that theatre folks would be all over talking like Shakespeare. Frankly, it won’t work for me unless you give me a script or one of his writings to read from. I haven’t practiced my improv (hmph, get it?) so that would be disastrous.
“My dear lady, pardon my trespass but it appeareth that thine ankles dist display themselves most unseemingly. What wouldst thine guardians say to such dishonorable conduct?”
“My parents are dead you Asshole!”
Yeah, improv wouldn’t work well for me.
And picnics? Sure, go for it. Not my thing though. All the ants and bugs getting into the food, flies swirling around, being either too hot, too cold, or straight up miserable… yeah I’m not a fan. It’s one of those things that sounds good in theory but when you actually do it, it never really works out.
So now that we’ve established that I’m unromantic, weird, and yet an animal lover, let’s get back to taking chances.
I was chatting with my brother last night about the three attraction phases I tend to experience.
- Instant visual attraction – Bam! I’m walking down the street and have to stop and stare (until I remember myself and force myself to keep walking) cuz hey baby, you look Fiiiine. That instant physical attraction where I’d be like “damn, I want to draw you sexy!”. But I never even talk to them. Ever.
- Stockholm attraction – This is when you meet someone you know isn’t suitable, but because you have limited mobility/options, years later you are actually thinking you have a crush on this person. At least until something (anyone) else comes along then suddenly, it’s like it never happened. Think -church + early teens but before undergrad.
- Attraction during friendship – This is when you meet someone when you aren’t really looking. You become friends and get to know each other. Then you find yourself developing feelings for that person that may take you a little off-guard. But the romance comes from the friendship where you’ve both gotten to know each other.
If it came to a choice, I’d much rather enter a romantic relationship after attraction stage 3. In my experience, attraction phase 1 is unreliable and attraction phase 2 is dangerously stupid.
Trust me, I’ve seen these happen often enough to know.
What does this have to do with anything?
…A-hem. Well, I’ve starting thinking more about romance lately. As in, after years of not really being interested in relationships (and not really seeing the point of them, to be honest) that bulb switched on.
Okay, okay, let me explain what I mean by that.
A year ago, I was watching a friend (at the time) start her relationship with someone she met from her church. And, since she wasn’t ever considerate, I’d encounter this blossoming love at all times and locations of the shared living arrangement we had. Mostly, I was a little annoyed at the encounters, but I remember coming home one day after just exhaustion and plopping down in bed. As I was lying there, this thought randomly crossed my head.
I wish I had someone to cuddle with.
And Bam! I suddenly understood why relationships. People want to have someone special to love and cherish and hold. Someone who understands them, with whom they can share their deepest joys and fears. Someone who won’t judge them for being themselves.
Cuddles are bonus!
But that kind of intimacy (not sex, stop think about that!) –emotional intimacy, can be hard to build, tricky to develop, and frankly I don’t know how people do this!
It looks so much like rolling the dice, it’s scary. If you fall in love with someone, it’s a 50:50 chance they’ll like you back, with a binary response if you declare your interest. Yes or no. +0 or +1. How on earth… this shit is scary as hell, even more scary than gambling!
Yet people do it again and again and again. Which means either 1) people are stupid, 2) people are smart or 3) people know something I don’t about this process.
But this whole “ahhh so scary” really just comes from fear. And fear is an emotional anchor that will hold you back from every awesome thing your life could have been. Fear should never be the singular motivator for not doing something that can improve your life (yes, I know, blanket statement that a lawyer would delight to poke holes into).
Hence taking chances. Without chances, there’s no growth. Without chances, I’ll never learn the meaning of relationships and never gain joy from having one. Without chances, how will I ever move forward.
Nothing is ever certain in this like aside from death and taxes. There is more to life than these!
So I’m going to take a chance this year. I’m going to let the fear go -as much as possible- and step out from the shadows.
It’s time to live, my man, it’s time to live.