Writing #12: Hitman -Agent 47 (2015)

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
I’m pretty sure I’m the last person to see this film, but you never know. I will be going into non vague detail here, so if you don’t want to know, click it away, click it away, click it away now! (thanks RHCP).

Give me one word to describe this film. 

Massive disappointment.

…That was two words. It must have been bad.

It was.

Okay, tell me about it.

I’ll break it down into three main parts.

  • Storyline/plot
  • Characters/actors
  • Camera angles/stunts/logistics

Storyline/plot

Let’s save the worst for first, shall we?

The plot was a slam dunk toilet flush. The writers for this film should have asked for feedback from five year olds, because even they could have done a better job.

Two main points stand out in particular.

First, the fact that the daughter, who is supposedly the most paranoid person on the planet, let some smooth talking, frankly creepy, fellow “rescue” her without any questions asked (yes, she asked questions, but not the important question of: “Why are you so interested in my father?”). She doesn’t notice this guy staring at her on the bus, her “spidey” senses don’t kick in when this guy tries to accost her, and she’s all too willing to go down a dark alley to a vague getaway car without even thinking twice.

But she was getting shot at, did you really expect her to stand there and interrogate her savior at that point?

Ever seen the Bourne trilogy? The guy gets shot at in the train station too, only he found his own way out. Didn’t follow some stranger to their car.

She was pretty cheap too, didn’t even have to lure her with candy to get her in the car.

Second, she doesn’t even seem to notice how desperate and antagonistic John Smith gets when asking about where her father is. Nope, no danger here. Why don’t I just show you EVERYTHING I have on my father. Zero vetting process for entry. I didn’t even ask who you worked for, or any form of detail on your objectives, but please; have the keys to the kingdom why don’t you?

Eyeroll.

The plot was complete garbage, it strung together a ton of locations without cohesion. And the paranoid girl keeps running toward danger despite her innate ability/uncontrollable instinct to do everything possible to avoid danger?

You so sure she’s the “advanced” assassin? Cuz that sounds a mite defective to me…

Then, the bad-ass assassin shows up, and is supposed be this awesome character… that couldn’t hit a kill shot on John Smith for the longest time. Yes, his body is made of titanium subdermal armour, but what happened to armour piercing rounds in quick succession to the eye sockets?

Seriously?! Where did that come from?

I watch a lot of action movies, can we please get back to the point?

My favorite is at the end. The father grabs the “inhaler” when they drag him out of the interrogation room, and he waits an entire…20 minutes to use it?

Could have saved everyone a lot of shooting if he just blew up everyone, including titanium freak. But noooo, let’s wait until my daughter almost gets shot and 47 has to take a bullet for her.

And then 47 acts like he didn’t get shot plus there is no blood anywhere?

He doesn’t feel pain, remember?

Sure, but he must be an undead if he doesn’t even bleed when he gets a body shot (Is he a necromonger? cuz that would make sense).

Yep, just walk it off.

I’ll keep this brief because I have 2 more sections to go into, but you get the idea.

Storyline/plot: 1/10

 

Charactors/actors

So everyone moaned about the absence of Olyphant and I commiserate, but people, please! Rupert Friend and Timothy Olyphant are two different people, you couldn’t seriously be expecting the same exact acting style and feel.

True, Olyphant brought a load of grittiness to the first film that Friend didn’t compete with, but I like that Friend took his own direction rather than attempt to mimic someone else. It comes off very genuinely bad-ass within his acting as Agent 47, and reduced my cringe factor tremendously.

Then Zachary Quinto popped up and I was like -wtf Spock!?

I never forget a face.

He brought his own level of creepy to the character which was very appropriate for the persona. Very mannequin-like in a determined-to-kill-you way. Interesting that the writers decided to make John Smith confident in everything but how he measures up to 47. He must have small privates a strong sense of inferiority.

Katia, I didn’t care for at all, she annoyed me in that way that unreasonable expectations do. You can’t tell me she’s smart and dumb, strong and weak, kick-ass and wimpy-ass all at the same time. Just doesn’t gel. And who the heck is dumb enough to take apart 47’s weapons when he and those very weapons are the only things between you and death? It’s like a Jew burning the only boat to England during WWII- doesn’t make sense!

I’ll give this to Hannah Ware, she fully committed to her character! I almost forgot about how much I loved her in Oldboy…

The other characters were secondary in my opinion and did their job well as being secondary characters. Even the (secondary?) villan, Le Clerq, came off very two dimensional. He wants Katia’s father- alive, and he wants Katia dead and/or alive depending on his mood. Oh, and everyone is trying to kill him too.

That’s about it.

Characters/actors: 6/10

 

Stunts/Logistics/Camera Angles

Dear stunt people, you did an excellent job.

As for the “fatalities”, if there were actually blood anywhere near the proper quantities, I would have been more thoroughly sold.

But half the car chases didn’t make sense… What happened to cars forming roadblocks instead of eight motorcycles zipping around for the car garage chase? What happened to blocking the intersection with mac trucks instead of steel wire harpoons?

Captain Ahab would have been proud.

Blame the writers? Yes.

The camera angles were greeaaat! Loved the dynamic slow motion, dramatic zoom, key focal points, etc. The best was near the beginning when 47 goes to the hotel and he’s reflected through the walls in infinity- great move by the director. Adds dimension and foreshadowing in a menacing way.

Well done.

Stunts/Logistics/Camera Angles: 9/10

 

Conclusion

This movie was a far cry from the first. The writing was painful -physically. The actors did an excellent job, but the writers left much to be desired with their nonsensical plot! Literally everything but the writing was passable, which is unfortunate because the action and everything else was pretty awesome.

ALAS- for the critical storyline component, this would have been an okay film.

Hitman: Agent 47 – 5/10

I have to agree with a comment VegasWalkinDude made, this is very reminiscent of a very bad rip off of the Terminator films.

We can do better. I heard we have the technology…somewhere.

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opalflame

I am artist, analyst, author, poet, composer, musician to name a few aspects of myself. A bit of a jack of trades, I dabble into many fields that encourage the blossom of imagination and allow me to channel my creativity. I dream vividly and view the world through the lens of optimism and opportunity while acknowledging the ink and shadows.

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