Caramel covered Popcorn Kernels – a brief observation

iscream
This week is an interesting cluster of popcorn kernels smothered in caramel.

What is a cluster of popcorn kernels smothered in caramel, you ask?
It’s when you expected popcorn, and paid for popcorn dipped in caramel, but you’re actually served unpopped kernels. Consequently/stubbornly you eat the kernels you were served, breaking teeth in the process.

Grin and bear it!

It’s like when your mother invites herself over for the weekend and spends the entire time nitpicking you to death.

The Caramel

I went to my folks house for the weekend, that was awesome. Hung out with friends and made a new friend. My sibling invited his friend to hang out with us, and he (the friend) was fiiiiiine.

As in, very sexy. (Before you’re imagination runs wild, no, I didn’t hit on him, and no, I wouldn’t even contemplate it, because it’s awkward and a bit uncouth to hit on a sibling’s friend -on the first meeting no less! …I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to break my rule tho. 😉 ) Plus, he had a wicked sense of humor. My sibling and the friend literally kept bouncing the jokes back and forth like a beach ball. It was great to watch, great stand-up comedy for free!

It made me realize, at that time, how nice it is to be the observer, rather than the performer. When my sibling and I hang out with people and other friends, I feel pressured to be funny too. I feel like my sibling is the natural comedian, easily conversation with strangers and effortless in being approachable and friendly. And I tend to step up my game, to avoid the overshadowing that tends to happen. I don’t want to blend into the wall, so I step up my game, I do jokes too, I am outgoing, and part of that is due to my sibling. The rest?: personal motivation, survival, and shy people drown in silence.

It was a mixed day. I got exhausted by the exuberance on blast, my sibling can be a little insensitive, overreacts sometimes when I try to get the volume turned down on the crazy/silly/humor aspect my sibling specializes in. Sometimes the joke goes to far -gotta take certain things seriously.

Nevertheless, a good day. I could be the me that can be carefree. No one judges me. No one belittles me, over-analysis every eye-blink. Just acceptance. From people who know me and embrace me anyway.

Those are good friends.

The Kernels

What can go wrong? Anything. Everything.

Stupid question to ask…

A few days ago, I came home from a really stressful, long, endless day looking to relax. Play a video game, maybe, or watch a movie and get my laundry done.

I really needed a break.

But I came home to a house without electricity. The next few hours were spent calling the electric company.

At first, I thought that the power had been knocked out. But it turns out that somehow, the electricity account never switched over from the old tenant of a year ago. The entire year, my roommates and I thought we had been paying for electric, but it turns out that it was still in the old tenant’s name, racking up interest and whatnot. They finally shut off the electricity after 12 months, without notice or warning.

Fuck my life.

It took two days to figure out what was going on. Two days of calling the company, transferring from department to department. Two days before the electricity was turned back on. No fan, no A.C., no internet, nothing but misery in the heat, and massive frustration.

I’ve got life stressors going on. I don’t need this stuff at home, home is where I relax and rejuvenate to face the next day.

I don’t need home to betray me too.

Dear karma, whatever I did, can you please cut me some slack?

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Published by

opalflame

I am artist, analyst, author, poet, composer, musician to name a few aspects of myself. A bit of a jack of trades, I dabble into many fields that encourage the blossom of imagination and allow me to channel my creativity. I dream vividly and view the world through the lens of optimism and opportunity while acknowledging the ink and shadows.

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