Early morning musing based on Mark Manson’s “Fuck Yes or No” philosophy. Gotta love smart, slightly vulgar men. 😛
Step into the Gray
We’ve all been there. We meet the guy, girl, they and we are just *a-ga-ga* over the thought that this is the one. We build castles in the sky and imagine a future of bliss It’s beautiful, wonderful, magical.
Just one problem. They are most certainly not that interested in us.
No, I’m not talking about dating, I’m talking about relationships. Mainly because I don’t feel like rehashing the dating stuff, mocking the “find true love” aspect, or revisiting that which so many others have done before.
No, I’m talking about relationships. It could be friendships, family, BFFs, friends with benefits, whatever.
For the purpose of this chat, I’ll talk from the friendship perspective. Crucify me.
Somehow, we just drifted apart
I mean, it happens to all of us. We go somewhere, meet people and then we find that one person, or more, who really clicks with us. This is awesome!! We chat, talk, laugh and just burn away the time. We start feeling live we’ve known this person/people forever.
And then the night ends.
We exchange numbers (or social media handles) and promise to be in touch. Soon.
A day later we message. They never respond.
A week later we get slightly ticked and leave a longer message. Again, no response.
Two years later, we’re cleaning out our social media and we can’t even remember where we met John Smith or who that even is.
Or maybe you’ve known someone for a long time, BFFs in high school, or college, and ya’ll used to communicate multiple times a day.
Then gradually it becomes once a day.
Then once a week.
Then once a month.
Perhaps you’ve both outgrown the friendship. Or maybe you just wanted it more than they did.
Would you invest time in a relationship that was going nowhere?
Let me ask a different way, would you give money to a habitual gambler? If the answer is yes, then let me introduce you to the saint of lost causes –You.
It sucks when you have a loved one or friendship where you constantly are the one putting in the time and the effort while the other party just seems to not give a shit. When you’re the one chasing them down, calling them, texting them, initiating the dialogue that they just can’t be bothered to sustain.
When you’re more into them than they are into you.
Or, my personal favorite, they don’t remember who you are and “forget” your number… until they are having a moment of personal crisis.
Then they call.
And you drop everything to play superman.
And much like that habitual gambler, once they get what then want from you, they are gone faster than you can say “call me maybe?”.
This is the worst. It destroys the relationship and wrecks your self-worth.
So if they aren’t as interested in you, spending time or at least letting you know they’re alive, should you be invested at all?